Discipline in Martial Arts
“Through discipline comes freedom”
We’ve all heard that martial arts practice develops several desirable qualities, including discipline, respect, confidence, perseverance, and more. And it’s all true. But the list of benefits has become so cliche that it’s easy to believe that enrolling yourself or your child into, say, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, will magically instill you with these gifts. All you will need to do is sign up and you’ll be a better person in no time.
Things are much different in reality. The majority of people never get anything substantial from martial arts practice because they quit too soon. Martial arts (particularly the most effective ones like BJJ, judo, wrestling, boxing, Muay-Thai, and MMA) are very difficult. You will spend several years losing sparring matches. You’ll be physically manhandled, choked, whacked in the nose, slammed, smashed, and forced to submit hundreds of times, all while your muscles are burning and you’re gasping for air. And the next day you’ll need to go back for more.
Discipline defined
Discipline is doing something because it should be done, whether you want to do it or not. This can be anything in life: work, school, healthy habits, maintaining relationships, etc. In a martial arts context this means going to class (regularly) with the knowledge that you’re going to face-off with a training partner. And if you’re a beginner, you’re likely going to lose.
In academies that adopt a more traditional approach, the practice of bowing, using honorific titles, and formal hierarchies are an intentional practice in discipline. Even if these rules seem arbitrary to some, they are rules, and following them is the established etiquette. It is akin to politeness and good manners in everyday life. This traditional martial arts structure is definitely not necessary to develop discipline, but some academies adopt it, and that is okay.
To the Parents
Enrolling your child in a quality martial arts program will certainly promote discipline (and other desirable qualities), but only if they stick to it. Perhaps jiu jitsu class is fun and engaging for a while, but many kids will ask to quit when things get tough. Allowing them to quit only teaches them to quit! To cultivate discipline we must get them to do the correct things, even if they may not always want to. Would you let your kid stay home from school if they didn’t feel like going? Of course not.
That does not mean, however, that we should be tyrants. Remember that martial arts like BJJ are very challenging, and so high expectations for our kids must also be met with appropriate support. Facing a sparing match against a tough opponent can be extremely daunting, and losing gracefully is a very difficult lesson to learn (for all of us). It is our job to be understanding and supportive of their emotions as they process these challenging events. You should praise hard work and returning to the mats after every setback, so your child will know they have your love and support while they develop the discipline required to persevere through challenges. This growth is hard-won and takes time.
Side note: if your child is enrolled in BJJ and you’re not, then you’re missing out on an opportunity to connect with him or her on many levels. For instance, spontaneous sparring matches on the living room floor are a pure joy. Additionally, adversity brings people together, and you will truly understand the challenges they face every time they bow onto the mat. They will relate to you on a new level and see you as a credible source for encouragement and information. Lastly, people are always more inclined to follow your lead than to obey your commands.
Wrap up
Returning to the main point; martial arts do not give you discipline. Discipline is not a gift you receive. Due to the challenging nature of martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, discipline is something that you’re forced to develop in order to enjoy the numerous long-term benefits of the art. But if you quit too soon, then you may never understand the freedom found in discipline.